So many people fail to understand what autism is. Every time I tell someone my son has autism, they say, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” But I’m not even a bit sorry. If you’ve ever felt frustrated because it feels like you’re parenting on an island and looking for support to parent your child with autism, I can relate.
Updated: March 2026
Medically Reviewed by: Dr. Caitlin Goodwin, DNP, APRN-FNP
👉 A curated “start here” guide for parenting an autistic child, with real-world travel, routines, and regulation support.
- Gluten-Free Living & Autism: Does the GFCF diet actually work? Here is what the evidence suggests about the gut-brain axis. Read the Gluten-Free Guide.
- The Ultimate Road Trip Guide: From choosing the right car to cross-country survival, here is how we handle transitions on the road. See the Road Trip Tips.
- Navigating Disney World with DAS: Disney is our “home base” for travel. This guide includes our best tips for the Disability Access Service and our personal story, “The Captain and a Little Gentleman.” View the Disney Autism Guide.
- Niagara Falls is Sensory Friendly: We live in NE Ohio, so visiting Niagara Falls is a perfect long-weekend getaway. Check out the Niagara Falls Autism Accessibility Guide
As a mom of an autistic child, I’ve learned that every small step can shape a more joyful and empowered future. These are tools for parenting that helped us, and I hope they may help your family too.
I was completely unaware of the vast world of services, support, and challenges unique to autism until 2013. Our son’s diagnosis came six weeks before his third birthday, so his entire educational path has the nuances of an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis. We’re lucky because my son received early intervention and continues to receive educational services. However, we’re not alone—boys are nearly four times more likely to be diagnosed with ASD.
The official government statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) cite that one in 59 American children receives an ASD diagnosis. However, a 2015 survey claims that the actual statistic is closer to 1 in 45 children aged 3 to 17. As the odds continue to rise, I can almost guarantee that someone you love is affected by ASD.
The Day I Realized He Was Autistic
Our son was a beautiful baby. He never slept well, but he was my first child. As time passed, he hit each milestone slightly behind his peers—late enough that I would spend nights awake Googling developmental concerns, but apparently, his case was not so profound that any professional I told about it intervened.
By eighteen months, he only spoke about fifteen words. Just before his second birthday, almost overnight, he went down to only saying “mama,” “go,” and “no.” Until his fifth birthday, he did not add any more language to his repertoire. I hired an American Sign Language (ASL) tutor, and he added a few signs like “milk,” “all done,” and “more,” but we still struggled.
There was a specific incident that made me realize that he was different from other children. He was a few months shy of his third birthday. After nap time, I walked into his room and stood in shock. My son had carefully lined up every single toy that he owned in a perfect line across the floor—shoulder to shoulder in a precise 15-foot line.
At that moment, I knew.
What are the symptoms of autism?
Autism is a spectrum, and no two children with ASD are alike. While these are a collection of possible symptoms, they don’t include every last sign.
Social Skills
- Does not answer to name by a 1-year-old
- Prefers solitary play or does not understand personal space
- Avoids direct eye contact or physical contact
- Struggles to understand others’ feelings
Communication
- Delayed speech (40% of children with autism are nonverbal)
- Echolalia (repetitive words)
- Talks in a flat or sing-song voice
- Unable to understand joking or sarcasm
Behaviors
- Lines up objects or prefers organization
- Gets upset with changes in routine
- Flaps hands, rocks body, or spins in circles
- Unexpected reactions to sensory input (sight, sound, smell, taste, feel)
If any of these symptoms seem familiar, I encourage you to discuss them with your pediatrician. If they don’t listen, take the M-CHAT online. It’s a developmental screening tool for toddlers (16 to 30 months).
What should I do to get a diagnosis for my child?
Since our child was under 3 years old, we contacted our local Help Me Grow. They instantly started an in-home evaluation with specialists and referred us to a local Developmental Pediatrician for an intensive testing session called the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS).
Contact your local Help Me Grow or other state agency for immediate support.
On that day, our son received the diagnosis, and everything changed. We hurried to set up an Individualized Education Program (IEP), and his school district placed him in a preschool program on his birthday.
How to Support Your Child’s Development
Every parent spends considerable time contemplating their children’s futures. This is especially true if the child has autism. Although therapy and medical care are essential, a parent’s love allows each child to flourish.
Cheer the Milestones and Positive Reinforcement
Autistic children need encouragement when they reach special milestones, such as learning to dress themselves or coping with change. Positive reinforcement ensures that you and your child both feel fantastic. Praise the effort, not the outcome. A reward can range from a small prize to extra play or screen time. The best positive reinforcement occurs soon after the behavior you reinforce.
The Art of Play
It is vital to spend time playing with your child. Enjoy one another and have fun together. Try not to rush and let your child guide the play. Sometimes, sitting next to one another while working on a similar task is the perfect way to spend time together.
Create a Support Network
Receiving support can be significantly helpful, including from friends, other families, and professionals. Individual, family, and marital counseling can also provide necessary assistance. As you work through the skills and plans for the future, consider what additional therapies may be appropriate. Our children have been in speech and occupational therapy since their second birthday.
The Power of Routines
Routines are key, but it is important to include your child in normal daily activities. Taking your child along to run errands, visit a neighbor, or go for a walk is an excellent way to interact and maintain consistency. Talking to your child’s therapists and teachers will help you develop the proper techniques and strengthen the bond.
Providing a Safe Zone and Sensory Support
Your child needs a special place where they feel safe, secure, and relaxed. You can mark this area with colored tape to help your child learn about boundaries. Protect this area, and fill it with your child’s favorite things.
What We Love for Sensory Support
- Weighted Blanket: Calming support for better sleep.
- Stress Ball: Squishy and perfect for car rides.
- Chewelry: Durable, stylish, and safe.
- PECS Communication Cards: Allow children to communicate by pictures. (Check price here)
How to Help Autistic Children Learn Effectively
Address misconceptions and meet them where they are. Early educational intervention is key.
- Practice social skills: Try to include their special interests. My son’s speech therapist used Bart Simpson to teach sarcasm—he never forgot that lesson!
- Support transitions: Whether you’re shifting between subjects or places, make sure to give a warning.
- Use visual cues: Visual schedules show the different tasks in a day or break down specific steps.
Transitioning into a new school year is one of the biggest milestones for our kids. For a step-by-step guide on IEPs, teacher snapshots, and sensory-friendly supply shopping, see my Back-to-School & Autism Survival Guide.
Autism Parenting Toolbox
Resources are key. Who better to learn it from than the people who have it? There are a lot of problems with Autism Speaks, but I will save that for another post! Luckily, there are some great inclusive non-profit organizations:
- Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) resource library
- Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network (AWN) resource library
- CommunicationFIRST for those who cannot rely on speech
- Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism resources
FAQs: Common Concerns
Can a child with autism improve? Yes, symptoms can improve over time. A study showed that 30% of 6-year-old kids have less severe ASD symptoms than they did at 3 years old.
What helps children with autism? Speech and Occupational therapy are standard. Also, manage any co-occurring ADD/ADHD. Some research shows that a gluten-free diet may improve symptoms of autism.
How do you help a child with autism calm down? Recognize signs of distress early. Putting pressure on a child to calm down is the worst thing you can do. If all else fails, just be present and give them space.
Planning a Bright Future
A diagnosis of ASD doesn’t mean that your child won’t live a happy and fulfilled life. Many people with autism have friends, attend secondary education, date and marry, and pursue meaningful work.
However, we must be realistic and plan. Children with autism become autistic adults. A research study found that less than one-half of young adults with ASD never worked outside the home. Start long-term planning from a financial and healthcare perspective now.
Our son is now fifteen years old and thriving. He has a best friend, participates in the Special Olympics, and his three little brothers and sister look up to him tremendously.
The beautiful truth about parenting your autistic child is that it changes you in ways you never dreamed. I love my son and wouldn’t change a single thing about him or his diagnosis. Until the world changes, I will fiercely fight to advocate for a better world that understands and supports autism.
Read our full story and travel adventures here.
If you found this article helpful, share it with a friend or take our “Choose Your Adventure” to find your family’s next perfect sensory-friendly destination. Join our community for more autism-friendly resources and family travel tips. Let’s build a more inclusive world—one child, one family at a time — on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, with more autism-friendly parenting tips.
This article was originally published in January 2017 and has been fully updated and medically reviewed to reflect the most current 2026 autism research and resources.
I just sobbed and sobbed. I didn’t know my Google search for Paragaurd pregnancies would lead me to your post and then to your blog where I see that you too have a son with Autism. I’m just shaking at the coincidence. My son is 7 years old, born in May of 2011. My daughter is 5 born February of 2013. We have many angel babies in-between. When my son called me mom for the first time I crumbled to pieces. I too will never ever take for granted the words my children can speak. This was a beautiful post. It’s nice to be reminded that there are people out there; that I am in-fact not alone at all.
We have a lot in common! I completely understand your feelings. We would love to have you follow along in our adventures. I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet angel babies.
Thank you for sharing!
You are so welcome, Rachel.